I've started working on my book again after neglecting the poor baby for about a year and the same thing that always happens has happened. I'll write and write and write, and then smack! I won't see that huge brick wall right in front of me. And in the past that wall would discourage me from continuing. "What if it's a sign that my story sucks? Who am I to be writing a book? What opinion of mine even matters? It's not good enough, Lucy." These are all thoughts that run through my head.
One thing is for sure, and that is that the book draws from a lot of events that have taken place in my past. Because of this, I feel as though I am obsessed with my past or something. And that is the biggest reason why I get turned off from working on it. I just get so depressed when I work on it. At the same time, though, I know that I can't ignore the book forever. I feel like it will haunt me for the rest of my life until I finish writing it.
I just wish I could let go of the past and move on.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
There's an Explanation.
For the past few months I've noticed that my patience for people has dwindled. I'm sure those around me have noticed this as well, and I apologize to anyone I may have frightened. In saying so, I'd like to take this time to try and explain/figure out why I have been behaving this way. I believe the major cause of my frustration is the way I feel towards fellow improvisers. And as many of you know, improv plays a significant role in my life.
I am currently in the third level of The Second City Conservatory program. Being a student of the Conservatory was a dream of mine for a long time. Now that I am there, however, I've come to realize that I do not hold it on the pedestal I once did. I think this is in large part due to the fact that I do not care for many of the students in the program. As an improviser, I try to translate what I have learned in class to my everyday life. The idea of "yes, and..." is a principle I have grown used to using at work, in social settings, with family, etc. "Yes, and..." is the most basic rule of all improv and you would think that other improvisers would try to use it in their daily lives as well. This is not the case, however, as my Conservatory classes have demonstrated.
For instance, we are currently working on writing scenes. The class divides into groups, the teacher gives us the assignment, and we are to collectively come up with an idea for the scene. Simple enough, right? Well I'm going to go ahead and say that there are people in the class who definitely like to take control of the group and push forth their ideas. I find that whenever these individuals come up with an idea they are very quick to shut down any other ideas or additions to the scenes. They say no to people, argue that their ideas are what make the scenes funny, etc., etc. They try to speak authoritatively about comedy and consistently believe they know what is funny and what is not. Well ya know what? These people I am writing of tend to play the same characters over and over again. And by characters, I mean they use a "funny" voice but act the same way in each scene they are in. They think that by saying witty things and by pushing their ideas they are making the scenes funny. Well, they can go fuck themselves. 'Cause ya know what? The funniest scenes I have ever been in are when my scene partner and I just shut the fuck up, take each other in, initiate an emotion, and take our time with the whole thing. The people in this class that I'm in, however, panic when the scene starts and just begin blabbing or having "verbal diarrhea," as one instructor calls it. They don't take their time to connect with their scene partners. I find it funny that these students love seeing TJ and Dave, (perhaps the best improv show in the city), and rave about it, yet they don't try to emulate those guys. For any of you who are not improvisers, TJ and Dave is a show starring two of the best improvisers in Chicago. They start their show by making eye contact for a distinct amount of time, figuring out how they feel about the other character and initiating an emotion, and taking their time. It is by far, the funniest show I have ever seen. It is funny because it is real. The audience can relate to the characters. My class, however, does not try to introduce these types of characters in the scenes. And that is why I see the class as a joke. The people are too concerned with being funnier than their scene partners. There is no support.
To be fair, there are students in this class who I absolutely love working with. I know that no matter what I do they have my back. But that is a very small number of people that I can list on one hand. The rest of the class has forgotten what it means to be an ensemble. Therefore, I have not registered for the next term of classes. I can't allow myself to continue on with a group of people I don't enjoy working with. I'm not having any fun anymore, plain and simple. Going to class has become a chore. I no longer get pumped up and excited and that is a very sad thought. Improv should be fun and I should be learning from it, but I'm not.
I don't think there is anything else I can write to explain how I feel about this class. Perhaps all Conservatory classes are the same way or perhaps when I return I'll be put in a class with a more mature group of performers. Who knows? But for now I bid adieu to Second City.
I am currently in the third level of The Second City Conservatory program. Being a student of the Conservatory was a dream of mine for a long time. Now that I am there, however, I've come to realize that I do not hold it on the pedestal I once did. I think this is in large part due to the fact that I do not care for many of the students in the program. As an improviser, I try to translate what I have learned in class to my everyday life. The idea of "yes, and..." is a principle I have grown used to using at work, in social settings, with family, etc. "Yes, and..." is the most basic rule of all improv and you would think that other improvisers would try to use it in their daily lives as well. This is not the case, however, as my Conservatory classes have demonstrated.
For instance, we are currently working on writing scenes. The class divides into groups, the teacher gives us the assignment, and we are to collectively come up with an idea for the scene. Simple enough, right? Well I'm going to go ahead and say that there are people in the class who definitely like to take control of the group and push forth their ideas. I find that whenever these individuals come up with an idea they are very quick to shut down any other ideas or additions to the scenes. They say no to people, argue that their ideas are what make the scenes funny, etc., etc. They try to speak authoritatively about comedy and consistently believe they know what is funny and what is not. Well ya know what? These people I am writing of tend to play the same characters over and over again. And by characters, I mean they use a "funny" voice but act the same way in each scene they are in. They think that by saying witty things and by pushing their ideas they are making the scenes funny. Well, they can go fuck themselves. 'Cause ya know what? The funniest scenes I have ever been in are when my scene partner and I just shut the fuck up, take each other in, initiate an emotion, and take our time with the whole thing. The people in this class that I'm in, however, panic when the scene starts and just begin blabbing or having "verbal diarrhea," as one instructor calls it. They don't take their time to connect with their scene partners. I find it funny that these students love seeing TJ and Dave, (perhaps the best improv show in the city), and rave about it, yet they don't try to emulate those guys. For any of you who are not improvisers, TJ and Dave is a show starring two of the best improvisers in Chicago. They start their show by making eye contact for a distinct amount of time, figuring out how they feel about the other character and initiating an emotion, and taking their time. It is by far, the funniest show I have ever seen. It is funny because it is real. The audience can relate to the characters. My class, however, does not try to introduce these types of characters in the scenes. And that is why I see the class as a joke. The people are too concerned with being funnier than their scene partners. There is no support.
To be fair, there are students in this class who I absolutely love working with. I know that no matter what I do they have my back. But that is a very small number of people that I can list on one hand. The rest of the class has forgotten what it means to be an ensemble. Therefore, I have not registered for the next term of classes. I can't allow myself to continue on with a group of people I don't enjoy working with. I'm not having any fun anymore, plain and simple. Going to class has become a chore. I no longer get pumped up and excited and that is a very sad thought. Improv should be fun and I should be learning from it, but I'm not.
I don't think there is anything else I can write to explain how I feel about this class. Perhaps all Conservatory classes are the same way or perhaps when I return I'll be put in a class with a more mature group of performers. Who knows? But for now I bid adieu to Second City.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
A Love Letter
Dear Mr. Obese Bus Man,
It was a pleasure seeing your pudgy face this morning while I was waiting for the bus on Sheridan Road. I must say, I do look forward to seeing you tottle across the street from your condo to the bus stop every morning. The way you manage to stand directly in front of me when the bus pulls up every morning has become a daily turn-on. Your rudeness and complete lack of regard for my personal space are so, well, masculine of you. And I love that you have no regard for the fact that I have obviously been waiting for the bus longer than you have and that I am a woman. Being a woman should have absolutely no effect on the way you act towards me. But alas, I've noticed that you have done the same to other women at the stop. Oh, you are a player!
The way you take up two seats on the bus with your body and your newspapers are so dashing. However, it doesn't stop there! I've grown to love the way you cough into the air without covering your mouth. The man who was lucky enough to sit near you on the bus this morning was so ungrateful that you coughed on him. The way he jerked his body away from you and gave you a dirty look shows me how much of a man you truly are compared to him and others around you.
You must be a very intelligent man because you read the RedEye every morning. Tell me, what is Beyonce up to these days? I'm sure you score women of her caliber on a daily basis. I do wonder, what is your profession? A banker? Perhaps you are one of those fellows that no one you work with likes. Just because you hog all the donuts in the break room shouldn't mean that you have no class. Well your co-workers can go screw themselves like you must be accustomed to doing every night! (Most likely to your RedEye).
I often wonder what your personal life is like. I imagine you being the type of uncle that none of your nieces or nephews like. I could imagine what their conversations with their parents would be like as they await your arrival for Christmas at their place. "Oh, is Uncle Sloppy coming tonight? Why must he always play with my toys first? He smells like store brand macaroni and cheese." But they know nothing. You must pass on to them your excellent social skills! Especially the young man. Teach him how to grow up to be just like you - a rude, selfish boy. Be sure to emphasize that excercise should not be a part of the daily routine or even the yearly routine, for that matter. And don't forget to teach your niece that it doesn't matter that she is a woman...she deserves no respect at all. Besides, it wasn't a woman who brought you into the world, was it? A woman didn't have to go through 36 hours of extreme pain to shove your 16 pound body out of her vagina. Even if that was the case, I'm sure she is ever so proud of what you have made of yourself. No regrets at all, correct?
Well, that is all the love I can put into words at the moment. Until we meet again, Mr. Obese Bus Man. Until tomorrow morning. I look forward to thanking you for your rude behavior someday.
Sincerely,
Lucy
It was a pleasure seeing your pudgy face this morning while I was waiting for the bus on Sheridan Road. I must say, I do look forward to seeing you tottle across the street from your condo to the bus stop every morning. The way you manage to stand directly in front of me when the bus pulls up every morning has become a daily turn-on. Your rudeness and complete lack of regard for my personal space are so, well, masculine of you. And I love that you have no regard for the fact that I have obviously been waiting for the bus longer than you have and that I am a woman. Being a woman should have absolutely no effect on the way you act towards me. But alas, I've noticed that you have done the same to other women at the stop. Oh, you are a player!
The way you take up two seats on the bus with your body and your newspapers are so dashing. However, it doesn't stop there! I've grown to love the way you cough into the air without covering your mouth. The man who was lucky enough to sit near you on the bus this morning was so ungrateful that you coughed on him. The way he jerked his body away from you and gave you a dirty look shows me how much of a man you truly are compared to him and others around you.
You must be a very intelligent man because you read the RedEye every morning. Tell me, what is Beyonce up to these days? I'm sure you score women of her caliber on a daily basis. I do wonder, what is your profession? A banker? Perhaps you are one of those fellows that no one you work with likes. Just because you hog all the donuts in the break room shouldn't mean that you have no class. Well your co-workers can go screw themselves like you must be accustomed to doing every night! (Most likely to your RedEye).
I often wonder what your personal life is like. I imagine you being the type of uncle that none of your nieces or nephews like. I could imagine what their conversations with their parents would be like as they await your arrival for Christmas at their place. "Oh, is Uncle Sloppy coming tonight? Why must he always play with my toys first? He smells like store brand macaroni and cheese." But they know nothing. You must pass on to them your excellent social skills! Especially the young man. Teach him how to grow up to be just like you - a rude, selfish boy. Be sure to emphasize that excercise should not be a part of the daily routine or even the yearly routine, for that matter. And don't forget to teach your niece that it doesn't matter that she is a woman...she deserves no respect at all. Besides, it wasn't a woman who brought you into the world, was it? A woman didn't have to go through 36 hours of extreme pain to shove your 16 pound body out of her vagina. Even if that was the case, I'm sure she is ever so proud of what you have made of yourself. No regrets at all, correct?
Well, that is all the love I can put into words at the moment. Until we meet again, Mr. Obese Bus Man. Until tomorrow morning. I look forward to thanking you for your rude behavior someday.
Sincerely,
Lucy
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
New Year, New President, New Everything.
I've been getting a lot of comments lately that I haven't updated my blog in a while. In fact, I haven't done so since 2008. (duh doon doon chhhh.) So for your reading pleasure, here is my first blog entry of 2009.
My 2009 started off rather well. Spent the holidays in Jersey with my mom and the rest of my family and hung out with both old and new friends. Came back to Chicago with some motivation under my belt. Currently rehearsing for that play I mentioned auditioning for back in the entry, "Blueberry Pie." Yeah, I got the part. It's a pretty funny play called "Serious Theatre," and was written by the director.
Started working on my one-woman sketch show. Found a pretty cool dude to direct it who appeared in the film, "The Aristocrats." I proposed it to Second City and I should be finding out in early February if I actually made the cut. If I don't, there are other theatres here that I can use without going through such a formal process. But still, cross your fingers...it's Second City, ya know?
My kitchen ceiling collapsed on Sunday. The guy above me had a leak in his kitchen sink so the sheet rock gave way. The maintenance guys are currently fixing it. Some people I know believe I should move when my lease ends. I, however, absolutely hate moving. Whenever I look for apartments I get that nauseous feeling I get when I've been in a mall for too long. Ya know that feeling? Like a combination between dizziness and hopelessness?
A part of me doesn't feel at home in that apartment but another part of me really likes the neighborhood. When I finally find a new place, though, I hate that one-year commitment crap. I feel like I'm forced to live somewhere for a year. What if I decided to move to L.A. or something? Or found an even better place? I hate commitment- It's so permanent. I guess I'll have to see how I feel in May.
Enough about me, we have a new president! And he's from Chicago! Hope you all caught the inauguration yesterday. I guess we'll have to wait and see what the rest of 2009 has in store for us. Nevertheless, it's great to have a fresh face in the White House.
Happy New Presidency, Everyone!
My 2009 started off rather well. Spent the holidays in Jersey with my mom and the rest of my family and hung out with both old and new friends. Came back to Chicago with some motivation under my belt. Currently rehearsing for that play I mentioned auditioning for back in the entry, "Blueberry Pie." Yeah, I got the part. It's a pretty funny play called "Serious Theatre," and was written by the director.
Started working on my one-woman sketch show. Found a pretty cool dude to direct it who appeared in the film, "The Aristocrats." I proposed it to Second City and I should be finding out in early February if I actually made the cut. If I don't, there are other theatres here that I can use without going through such a formal process. But still, cross your fingers...it's Second City, ya know?
My kitchen ceiling collapsed on Sunday. The guy above me had a leak in his kitchen sink so the sheet rock gave way. The maintenance guys are currently fixing it. Some people I know believe I should move when my lease ends. I, however, absolutely hate moving. Whenever I look for apartments I get that nauseous feeling I get when I've been in a mall for too long. Ya know that feeling? Like a combination between dizziness and hopelessness?
A part of me doesn't feel at home in that apartment but another part of me really likes the neighborhood. When I finally find a new place, though, I hate that one-year commitment crap. I feel like I'm forced to live somewhere for a year. What if I decided to move to L.A. or something? Or found an even better place? I hate commitment- It's so permanent. I guess I'll have to see how I feel in May.
Enough about me, we have a new president! And he's from Chicago! Hope you all caught the inauguration yesterday. I guess we'll have to wait and see what the rest of 2009 has in store for us. Nevertheless, it's great to have a fresh face in the White House.
Happy New Presidency, Everyone!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Blueberry Pie.
Today was a very awesome day! I got a really good workout at the gym and felt great afterward. Yeah, I'm pretty sore. I guess it's understandable since today was only my third day going to the gym. I'm actually looking forward to hitting the treadmill in the morrow! Weird.
Another really awesome thing that happened today was that my former housemate in Honolulu emailed me. We haven't been in touch since some time in 2007 and I was actually thinking about her yesterday. Weird..again.
A person who I have been "tumultuous" with this past year and I have reconciled today. I've been so adamant about holding my grudge against her that I hadn't realize I was just being downright cruel. So today we had a face-to-face talk and all is well. Think I might even give her a Christmas card to let her know I'm serious about being nicer to her. (Or at least warming up to her.) On the count of three, Aww!"
This afternoon I found out about an audition for a show at Second City's Skybox. I emailed the guy and got a spot and I think the audition went very well. I don't think I'll be very upset if I don't get the part because I know I did a good job with the sides...but I'd really like to get a part. I have to mention, though, that before the audition I visited one of my favorite eateries in the Second City 'hood...Boston Market. Mmm, delicious! I always get the kids' meal because a) it's not $9.00 and b) it's only $4.77. Plus it comes with a drink. Yeah, I know how to live it up!
So after the audition was over I caught the Clark bus to go home. Some girl on the bus a few seats in front of me was leaning on her boyfriend's shoulder and I heard her moaning pretty loudly. Shortly after the moans her and her boyfriend left the bus in a hurry. I thought she was just drunk. Then these two guys got on and sat next to me and pointed out that there was throw-up up sloshing around on the floor in the traction grooves. Apparently, the chick was puking her brains out. So this other guy got on the bus and was about to sit in the seat she was sitting in when the three of us shouted, "Don't sit there!" He looked at the puke, made a foul face, and thanked us for saving him from stepping in what I believed to be some blueberry pie that didn't sit very well with the chick. Gross, I know. So the guy and I start joking around about possible dishes the girl might have eaten tonight, as well as our lack of appetites for any sort of dessert. Then the bus driver pulls over the bus, examines the "situation," and tells us that it is against policy to continue driving the bus. So we all get off and hop on another bus. Meanwhile, we were literally only four or five blocks away from where I live so I felt bad about hopping on the bus.
Anyway, the guy and I get on the bus and begin chatting about what we were doing that night and I mentioned Second City. The guy sitting in front of me turned around with an interested look on his face so I asked him in a matter-of-fact way, "You're a Second City person?" He said yeah and began chatting it up with me and my new friend. Turns out that my new friend is actually a pre-med student. I asked him what his last name was but, before he could respond, I was already rattling off possibilities. "Rich? Dough? McCoy?!" I was close, though. It's actually "Banks." And then he thanked me for being the only person who has ever made fun of him for being a pre-med student.
I told the guys that I was "soo going to write about this in my blog tonight." Imagine vomit bringing together three perfect strangers?! Well I think it's cool. Anyway, the dudes told me they would check out my blog...we'll see. Maybe Pre-med will be too busy crystallizing protein and Omega-3s and what-have-you and the other guy will be too busy making super-sweet business cards with his roommate. (Inside jokes. I know; it's not fair.)
And as our conversation was coming to an end, the bus driver conveniently told us that we would have to yet again get on another bus because this one had broken down. Seems like it was a trade-off between sanitation and transportation. (Can't remember which one of those guys I stole that from.) So I decided to walk the few blocks home.
Making new friends is always awesome but I'm wondering if they will keep their word...
Anyway, the moral of the story is that I think my 2008 is wrapping up pretty well. Knock on wood...
Another really awesome thing that happened today was that my former housemate in Honolulu emailed me. We haven't been in touch since some time in 2007 and I was actually thinking about her yesterday. Weird..again.
A person who I have been "tumultuous" with this past year and I have reconciled today. I've been so adamant about holding my grudge against her that I hadn't realize I was just being downright cruel. So today we had a face-to-face talk and all is well. Think I might even give her a Christmas card to let her know I'm serious about being nicer to her. (Or at least warming up to her.) On the count of three, Aww!"
This afternoon I found out about an audition for a show at Second City's Skybox. I emailed the guy and got a spot and I think the audition went very well. I don't think I'll be very upset if I don't get the part because I know I did a good job with the sides...but I'd really like to get a part. I have to mention, though, that before the audition I visited one of my favorite eateries in the Second City 'hood...Boston Market. Mmm, delicious! I always get the kids' meal because a) it's not $9.00 and b) it's only $4.77. Plus it comes with a drink. Yeah, I know how to live it up!
So after the audition was over I caught the Clark bus to go home. Some girl on the bus a few seats in front of me was leaning on her boyfriend's shoulder and I heard her moaning pretty loudly. Shortly after the moans her and her boyfriend left the bus in a hurry. I thought she was just drunk. Then these two guys got on and sat next to me and pointed out that there was throw-up up sloshing around on the floor in the traction grooves. Apparently, the chick was puking her brains out. So this other guy got on the bus and was about to sit in the seat she was sitting in when the three of us shouted, "Don't sit there!" He looked at the puke, made a foul face, and thanked us for saving him from stepping in what I believed to be some blueberry pie that didn't sit very well with the chick. Gross, I know. So the guy and I start joking around about possible dishes the girl might have eaten tonight, as well as our lack of appetites for any sort of dessert. Then the bus driver pulls over the bus, examines the "situation," and tells us that it is against policy to continue driving the bus. So we all get off and hop on another bus. Meanwhile, we were literally only four or five blocks away from where I live so I felt bad about hopping on the bus.
Anyway, the guy and I get on the bus and begin chatting about what we were doing that night and I mentioned Second City. The guy sitting in front of me turned around with an interested look on his face so I asked him in a matter-of-fact way, "You're a Second City person?" He said yeah and began chatting it up with me and my new friend. Turns out that my new friend is actually a pre-med student. I asked him what his last name was but, before he could respond, I was already rattling off possibilities. "Rich? Dough? McCoy?!" I was close, though. It's actually "Banks." And then he thanked me for being the only person who has ever made fun of him for being a pre-med student.
I told the guys that I was "soo going to write about this in my blog tonight." Imagine vomit bringing together three perfect strangers?! Well I think it's cool. Anyway, the dudes told me they would check out my blog...we'll see. Maybe Pre-med will be too busy crystallizing protein and Omega-3s and what-have-you and the other guy will be too busy making super-sweet business cards with his roommate. (Inside jokes. I know; it's not fair.)
And as our conversation was coming to an end, the bus driver conveniently told us that we would have to yet again get on another bus because this one had broken down. Seems like it was a trade-off between sanitation and transportation. (Can't remember which one of those guys I stole that from.) So I decided to walk the few blocks home.
Making new friends is always awesome but I'm wondering if they will keep their word...
Anyway, the moral of the story is that I think my 2008 is wrapping up pretty well. Knock on wood...
Monday, December 15, 2008
Independence.
I saw Milk on Friday night. It was very good and very informative so go see it!
I had stopped over at this place called "Aloha Eats" before the movie. It's this dine-in place on Clark that sells all Hawaiian dishes. I go in there every now and then when I get a spam musubi craving and Friday night I had one! As I was eating my delicious treat, reminiscing to myself about my Honolulu days, a couple walked in and asked me what I was eating. I excitedly explained to them that it was spam musubi-rice and spam wrapped in seaweed. I told them that I used to live in Hawaii and spam musubi was a daily part of my diet...and I wondered why I weighed so much! Then I recommended the chicken katsu, which is another island favorite. And then I went into this tangent about how spam is served at McDonald's over there and that their poi pie is just as popular there as the apple pie is here. And as I left the cafe after I had hoovered the two magnificent creations, I thought to myself, "Hey, that's pretty cool that I can recommend Hawaiian dishes to people. I feel cool right now."
And I proceeded up the street to the theater where I would continue on with my date with myself. And for some reason I thought, "Men..who needs 'em?" And as I rode home on the bus after the movie was over I began thinking to myself, "I can really see myself raising a girl all on my own when I'm older. I can see myself teaching her about independence, and courage, and how to survive without men."
A few blog posts ago I had mentioned that some of my friends had referred to me as a feminist. I really think I am turning into one. Not necessarily in a bra-burning way, but in a way that I can survive on my own and teach little girls that they are just as strong as the boys are and that you don't need a dude in your life at all times. I feel like that side of me comes out even more here in Chicago because many people in my age range here are either married or engaged or can't stop thinking about being married or engaged. And then there's me, the East Coaster who has the mentality of, "Get married that young? Are you nuts?!"
I apologize to any Chicagoans I may have insulted by writing these things but you know it's true!
So where to take myself this Friday night...
I had stopped over at this place called "Aloha Eats" before the movie. It's this dine-in place on Clark that sells all Hawaiian dishes. I go in there every now and then when I get a spam musubi craving and Friday night I had one! As I was eating my delicious treat, reminiscing to myself about my Honolulu days, a couple walked in and asked me what I was eating. I excitedly explained to them that it was spam musubi-rice and spam wrapped in seaweed. I told them that I used to live in Hawaii and spam musubi was a daily part of my diet...and I wondered why I weighed so much! Then I recommended the chicken katsu, which is another island favorite. And then I went into this tangent about how spam is served at McDonald's over there and that their poi pie is just as popular there as the apple pie is here. And as I left the cafe after I had hoovered the two magnificent creations, I thought to myself, "Hey, that's pretty cool that I can recommend Hawaiian dishes to people. I feel cool right now."
And I proceeded up the street to the theater where I would continue on with my date with myself. And for some reason I thought, "Men..who needs 'em?" And as I rode home on the bus after the movie was over I began thinking to myself, "I can really see myself raising a girl all on my own when I'm older. I can see myself teaching her about independence, and courage, and how to survive without men."
A few blog posts ago I had mentioned that some of my friends had referred to me as a feminist. I really think I am turning into one. Not necessarily in a bra-burning way, but in a way that I can survive on my own and teach little girls that they are just as strong as the boys are and that you don't need a dude in your life at all times. I feel like that side of me comes out even more here in Chicago because many people in my age range here are either married or engaged or can't stop thinking about being married or engaged. And then there's me, the East Coaster who has the mentality of, "Get married that young? Are you nuts?!"
I apologize to any Chicagoans I may have insulted by writing these things but you know it's true!
So where to take myself this Friday night...
Friday, December 12, 2008
Bittersweet
This morning I was thinking about my time spent in Honolulu. It is weird to think that I can never go back to who I was during college. I have come a long way from then and I know I have to keep moving forward with my goals, but it is definitely scary to think about what awaits me in the future. I felt as though my time spent in Hawaii was like a little kid waiting for permission to swim in the deep end. Now that I've jumped in I feel like I need to keep paddling to stay afloat. And I can never go back to being that kid who doesn't know what it feels like to be in the deep end, ya know? I just have to keep trucking.
There's this song by The Darkness that I am really into at the moment. It's called "Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time." It is a bittersweet song for me because it does have some depressing lyrics but the music is so beautiful. I love songs with string instruments! I guess you could say this song is my anthem for the moment. Hence, I dedicate it to life. There's no music video for it that I could find so below is the next best thing. There are lyrics at the bottom if you want to follow along (since they're British and all).
There's this song by The Darkness that I am really into at the moment. It's called "Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time." It is a bittersweet song for me because it does have some depressing lyrics but the music is so beautiful. I love songs with string instruments! I guess you could say this song is my anthem for the moment. Hence, I dedicate it to life. There's no music video for it that I could find so below is the next best thing. There are lyrics at the bottom if you want to follow along (since they're British and all).
We may not get back what we had, what I threw away
But you know I would do anything, anything you say
I'd cross a thousand miles of broken glass on my hands and knees
I would crawl if for a moment we could cease hostilities
But it seemed like such a good idea at the time,
such a very very good idea at the time.
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong
either way let's start again
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong
I don't know where to start again
Now our dream is over, but lately I have found
That you only seem to come alive when I am not around
But it seemed like such a good idea at the time,
such a very very good idea at the time.
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong
either way let's start again
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong
I don't know where to start again
But it seemed like such a good idea at the time,
such a very very good idea at the time.
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong
either way let's start again
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong
I don't know where to start... again
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